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00:00:17 --> 00:00:23 Grundmeyer Leader Services, where together we are transforming education, one leader at a time.
00:00:23 --> 00:00:27 Now, get ready to amplify your day with your morning boost.
00:00:31 --> 00:00:36 All right, welcome back, everybody. Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday, November 18th.
00:00:36 --> 00:00:40 And again, it's American Education Week, so a big celebration to all of you
00:00:40 --> 00:00:44 out there that are just doing the hard work every day for all of our kids.
00:00:44 --> 00:00:48 Today, actually, it's Family Day as part of American Education Week,
00:00:48 --> 00:00:51 and we all know that a strong school needs strong partnerships,
00:00:51 --> 00:00:55 and none is more important than the one that we have with our families.
00:00:55 --> 00:00:59 Again, I would like to say a big hello and welcome to Dr.
00:00:59 --> 00:01:03 Lisa Hill from the Vice Principal UnOffice podcast. She's joining us all week
00:01:03 --> 00:01:05 and back here again today.
00:01:05 --> 00:01:09 And, you know, Dr. Hill, the assistant principal's interactions with parents,
00:01:09 --> 00:01:13 sometimes they're just kind of, we get stuck in, you know, moments of crisis
00:01:13 --> 00:01:17 or discipline and it's hard to really build that family relationship,
00:01:17 --> 00:01:20 but we're going to talk about it a little bit. Okay.
00:01:26 --> 00:01:30 All right. Well, like I said, Dr. Hill, welcome back. Happy Tuesday to you as
00:01:30 --> 00:01:33 well. And we are on to question two.
00:01:33 --> 00:01:39 So, the question for today is, as an AP, how do you successfully pivot a difficult
00:01:39 --> 00:01:44 conversation with a parent away from one that's purely a disciplinary tone and
00:01:44 --> 00:01:47 into a productive long-term partnership?
00:01:48 --> 00:01:54 Another great question. There's not a lot of guidance for APs when they get started in this work.
00:01:54 --> 00:01:57 Very true. discipline can be scary and as
00:01:57 --> 00:02:00 teachers we're often scared to
00:02:00 --> 00:02:03 call a parent and tell them some bad news so as
00:02:03 --> 00:02:07 an ap luckily i was an old school counselor
00:02:07 --> 00:02:09 so i often put on my counseling hat and
00:02:09 --> 00:02:13 what i learned over the years is i
00:02:13 --> 00:02:16 have to enter the conversation with empathy
00:02:16 --> 00:02:19 and i have to understand where they're
00:02:19 --> 00:02:22 coming from and i approach
00:02:22 --> 00:02:25 i don't engage emotionally because you can't that's
00:02:25 --> 00:02:31 a lot of wasted energy the parent comes in fired up because what they send to
00:02:31 --> 00:02:36 school that is like they're not keeping all the fabulous students at home like
00:02:36 --> 00:02:40 they're sending us their best and they want the best for their kids as we all
00:02:40 --> 00:02:44 do and kids make mistakes and often parents who struggle.
00:02:46 --> 00:02:51 To understand why we do things, may have not had the best experience in school themselves.
00:02:51 --> 00:02:54 Or they remember school how it was when they were young.
00:02:55 --> 00:02:59 So my approach has always been try to find something that we have in common.
00:02:59 --> 00:03:00 There's got to be something out there.
00:03:01 --> 00:03:05 Often I use, I'm a parent. I raised boys. Where did you go to school?
00:03:05 --> 00:03:09 Just something that you can find to start the conversation.
00:03:10 --> 00:03:13 And what I found, I've had a lot of luck with it.
00:03:13 --> 00:03:18 The Heartland team and And the APs and principal I worked with used to call
00:03:18 --> 00:03:22 me the parent whisperer because I would take the time and could get the parent
00:03:22 --> 00:03:25 to understand, I'm not out to get you. I'm not out to get your child.
00:03:25 --> 00:03:28 We're doing this together. We're a partnership.
00:03:29 --> 00:03:33 We're teaming. And I often told parents, we may have to agree to disagree.
00:03:33 --> 00:03:36 And that's OK. It has nothing to do with our relationship.
00:03:37 --> 00:03:40 And when I would say our relationship and put that out there,
00:03:40 --> 00:03:42 parents would calm down.
00:03:43 --> 00:03:46 They need to be heard just as much as their child does.
00:03:48 --> 00:03:52 And really, I had a ton of luck with that. I did not have a lot of angry parents.
00:03:53 --> 00:03:56 They were hot when they came in, and I kind of liked the challenge.
00:03:56 --> 00:03:59 I'd meet them at the door. They'd be angry, yelling at the secretary.
00:03:59 --> 00:04:01 And by the time they left, I usually got a hug.
00:04:02 --> 00:04:07 And, of course, the people I worked with would laugh because some of those angry
00:04:07 --> 00:04:09 parents, I'd get gifts at Christmas
00:04:09 --> 00:04:12 and at the end of the school year and invited to a graduation party.
00:04:12 --> 00:04:17 Because I just take care of people. We're in human services,
00:04:17 --> 00:04:21 and you have to understand that. You abide by board policy.
00:04:21 --> 00:04:25 You stick with what you're going to say, and you just tell the people why.
00:04:25 --> 00:04:29 When they know the why, parents do much better, especially when you do it with
00:04:29 --> 00:04:31 kindness because it doesn't take much to be kind.
00:04:39 --> 00:04:43 I like really thinking about that team approach, like you said,
00:04:43 --> 00:04:45 and it shouldn't be something that works really easily from the start.
00:04:45 --> 00:04:49 Think of every great athletic team if you want to go down that route.
00:04:49 --> 00:04:52 You know, when they start off the first time, it takes a while for everybody
00:04:52 --> 00:04:56 to kind of get to know everybody and it doesn't click right away.
00:04:56 --> 00:05:01 But with some kindness and with some work together, you do eventually get to
00:05:01 --> 00:05:03 that ultimate goal of winning.
00:05:03 --> 00:05:07 You know, whether we ever completely win in these type of conversations or not,
00:05:07 --> 00:05:11 certainly having that team approach is going to get a little bit closer to it anyway.
00:05:11 --> 00:05:14 That's really good. And one other thing I do when we're all done,
00:05:14 --> 00:05:16 I always say to the parent, how are you doing?
00:05:17 --> 00:05:21 Because nobody ever takes the time to ask the parent. When you're in a struggle
00:05:21 --> 00:05:25 with your child and they're not doing well, your emotions are all over the place.
00:05:25 --> 00:05:27 You want to protect them, but you want to hold them accountable.
00:05:27 --> 00:05:31 So that question alone can calm everything.
00:05:32 --> 00:05:35 Well, and it really validates them as well, because I'm sure a lot of parents
00:05:35 --> 00:05:39 think that, oh, if my kid did something wrong, that's a reflection on me.
00:05:39 --> 00:05:43 And so I feel like there's something wrong there too. And no,
00:05:43 --> 00:05:44 that's a good point. That's a good point.
00:05:45 --> 00:05:48 Well, that's awesome. Two down and those were two rockstar answers.
00:05:48 --> 00:05:51 Not that that shocks me. I would expect nothing less from you.
00:05:51 --> 00:05:55 That's just, that's awesome stuff. Well, we will be back again tomorrow with
00:05:55 --> 00:06:02 question number three as we continue on this week, exploring the role of the AP with Dr. Lisa Hill.
00:06:02 --> 00:06:06 So thanks again for joining us. Thank you listeners for joining as well.
00:06:06 --> 00:06:07 And we will talk with you again tomorrow.
00:06:14 --> 00:06:18 We hope today's daily dose of professional development helps you amplify knowledge,
00:06:19 --> 00:06:21 widen reach, and broaden impact.
00:06:21 --> 00:06:26 Your Morning Boost is an AWB education production brought to you with the generous
00:06:26 --> 00:06:29 support of Grundmeyer Leader Services.
00:06:29 --> 00:06:33 Join us again tomorrow for more. Until then, keep boosting your impact.