- Digging deeper to understand the why behind the behavior 🤔
- The magic of active listening - truly hearing their voice 👂
- Finding that common ground - we're all human! 🌱
- Focusing on the positive moments (no matter how small!) ✨
- Consistency is key! 🔑
- Building trust, one step at a time 🧱
- Teaming up with teachers, counselors, and parents - we're in this together! 🧑🏫👩⚕️👨👩👧👦
- Leading with empathy and celebrating every win! 🎉
Thank You for Listening! This has been an episode from The FowardED Network—Where we are Advancing Voices and Shaping Education. We are dedicated to supporting everyone invested in K-12 success: teachers, leaders, parents, and community advocates.
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00:00:00 --> 00:00:05 Welcome to Your Morning Boost, your daily leadership advice to help you lead your school community.
00:00:05 --> 00:00:09 Brought to you by AWB Education and sponsored by Grundmeyer Leader Services,
00:00:10 --> 00:00:14 where together we are transforming education, one leader at a time.
00:00:14 --> 00:00:16 Now here's your host, Adam Bush.
00:00:17 --> 00:00:21 Good morning, school leaders. Welcome to Thursday's edition of Your Morning Boost this week.
00:00:21 --> 00:00:25 Today, we're tackling one of the most challenging aspects of school leadership,
00:00:25 --> 00:00:29 and that is building relationships with your most difficult behavior students.
00:00:29 --> 00:00:34 It's easy to get frustrated with students who consistently disrupt the learning
00:00:34 --> 00:00:37 environment or also those that exhibit challenging behaviors.
00:00:37 --> 00:00:42 However, it's crucial to remember that these students often need our support the most.
00:00:42 --> 00:00:47 They may be communicating unmet needs or underlying trauma through their behavior.
00:00:51 --> 00:00:55 I want to give you a few strategies to help build positive relationships.
00:00:55 --> 00:00:59 Our first strategy is to seek to understand. Before addressing the behavior,
00:01:00 --> 00:01:01 try to understand its root causes.
00:01:02 --> 00:01:03 Is the student struggling academically?
00:01:04 --> 00:01:08 Are they experiencing difficulties at home such as poverty, abuse, or neglect?
00:01:09 --> 00:01:13 Or are they seeking attention due to a lack of positive reinforcement?
00:01:13 --> 00:01:18 By understanding these underlying issues, we can develop a more effective intervention
00:01:18 --> 00:01:23 that addresses the root cause of the behavior rather than just trying to suppress the symptoms.
00:01:24 --> 00:01:28 Next, listen actively. When the student is talking, truly listen.
00:01:28 --> 00:01:34 Avoid interrupting or avoid judging. Show them that you value their perspective,
00:01:34 --> 00:01:36 even if you don't agree with their behavior.
00:01:36 --> 00:01:41 Active listening demonstrates respect and can help de-escalate tense situations,
00:01:41 --> 00:01:45 and it also creates a safe space for the student to express themselves,
00:01:45 --> 00:01:48 which could be the first step towards building trust.
00:01:48 --> 00:01:54 Next piece, let's find common ground. Look for areas of shared interest or positive qualities.
00:01:54 --> 00:01:57 This can help us establish a connection and build rapport.
00:01:57 --> 00:02:01 Even a small point of connection, such as a shared hobby or a compliment on
00:02:01 --> 00:02:06 a positive attribute, this can be a starting point for building a stronger relationship.
00:02:06 --> 00:02:10 It's about finding a human connection beyond the challenging behavior.
00:02:11 --> 00:02:14 Next, let's focus on the positive. Instead of dwelling on the negative behavior,
00:02:15 --> 00:02:17 let's try to catch the student doing something right.
00:02:17 --> 00:02:22 Acknowledge and praise their positive actions, no matter how small these might be.
00:02:22 --> 00:02:26 This can help shift the student's focus and reinforce desired behaviors,
00:02:26 --> 00:02:31 and it also helps create a more positive dynamic in your interactions with the student.
00:02:31 --> 00:02:34 We need to make those deposits before we can make withdrawals.
00:02:34 --> 00:02:36 Be consistent and fair here, too.
00:02:36 --> 00:02:40 Set clear expectations and enforce them consistently. We want to treat all students
00:02:40 --> 00:02:42 fairly regardless of their behavior.
00:02:43 --> 00:02:47 Consistency and fairness create a sense of predictability and security,
00:02:47 --> 00:02:50 which can be especially important for students with behavioral challenges.
00:02:51 --> 00:02:55 They need to know what to expect and that the adults in their lives will act
00:02:55 --> 00:02:57 in a predictable and just manner.
00:02:57 --> 00:03:02 This is going to also help us build that trust. Trust is essential for any relationship,
00:03:02 --> 00:03:06 but it's especially important with students who have a history of negative interactions
00:03:06 --> 00:03:11 with adults. Be reliable, be honest, and follow through on your promises.
00:03:11 --> 00:03:15 Small acts of trustworthiness, they will accumulate over time and they will
00:03:15 --> 00:03:17 lead to significant improvements in the relationship.
00:03:18 --> 00:03:21 This might involve being on time for meetings, keeping your word,
00:03:21 --> 00:03:24 and maybe even advocating for the student's needs.
00:03:24 --> 00:03:28 Do this by collaborating with others. Work with teachers, counselors, parents.
00:03:28 --> 00:03:33 Develop a consistent and supportive approach. A collaborative approach ensures
00:03:33 --> 00:03:37 that the student is receiving consistent messages and support from all adults in their life.
00:03:38 --> 00:03:42 This team approach is essential for creating a network of support around the student.
00:03:43 --> 00:03:48 Also, don't forget to show some empathy. Try to see the world from the student's perspective.
00:03:48 --> 00:03:52 This will help us understand their behavior and respond with compassion.
00:03:52 --> 00:03:57 Empathy doesn't mean condoning the behavior, but it does mean understanding its origins.
00:03:58 --> 00:04:02 It's about trying to walk in their shoes and understanding the challenges that
00:04:02 --> 00:04:04 they face, but just don't take it personally.
00:04:04 --> 00:04:08 It's easy to feel frustrated or offended by a student's behavior.
00:04:08 --> 00:04:14 Remember that their behavior is often a reflection of these struggles and not a personal attack on us.
00:04:14 --> 00:04:18 Maintaining a professional distance will help us respond more effectively and
00:04:18 --> 00:04:23 avoid escalating the situation, but we just need to remember that the behavior
00:04:23 --> 00:04:25 is that communication piece we're trying to get to.
00:04:26 --> 00:04:30 Also, don't forget to celebrate small victories. Building relationships with
00:04:30 --> 00:04:34 difficult students, this takes time, and it's going to take a lot of patience.
00:04:34 --> 00:04:38 Celebrate small victories along the way, and don't get discouraged by setbacks.
00:04:39 --> 00:04:42 Every positive interaction is a step in the right direction.
00:04:42 --> 00:04:47 It's about focusing on progress, not perfection, and acknowledging the student's
00:04:47 --> 00:04:49 efforts, no matter how small.
00:04:53 --> 00:04:59 As Dr. Ross Green, author of The Explosive Child, suggests, kids do well if they can.
00:05:00 --> 00:05:05 This perspective shifts the focus from punishment to understanding and problem-solving.
00:05:05 --> 00:05:09 It's about recognizing that challenging behavior is often a sign that the student
00:05:09 --> 00:05:12 lacks the skills to handle a situation more effectively.
00:05:12 --> 00:05:15 By building strong relationships with our most challenging students,
00:05:15 --> 00:05:20 we can create a more supportive and inclusive school environment where all students can thrive.
00:05:21 --> 00:05:24 That's your Thursday Boost, folks. Thank you for listening. If you're looking
00:05:24 --> 00:05:28 for any more information on this topic, please reach out to us at AWB Education.
00:05:28 --> 00:05:32 We'd love to get you hooked up with the people that can help you break that
00:05:32 --> 00:05:34 barrier to your most challenging students.
00:05:34 --> 00:05:37 Thanks again for listening. We will talk with you again tomorrow.
00:05:37 --> 00:05:41 You have been listening to your Morning Boost by AWB Education in partnership
00:05:41 --> 00:05:43 with Grundmeyer Leader Services.
00:05:43 --> 00:05:48 You can find out more about our services by clicking on the links in the description.
00:05:48 --> 00:05:53 Remember, you are doing this vital job that only a few can do.
00:05:53 --> 00:05:57 So until next time, thank you for your service to your community.